Say the true thing, in the right shape, on paper that will keep it.

Use the name of the person who died. Give one specific memory — a habit, a phrase, a scene you were both in — rather than a general tribute. Do not explain the death or look for meaning in it. Offer something concrete with a time attached: I will call on Sunday beats let me know if you need anything.

Open with the facts in one line: what, when, and any reference number. Give only the narrative a stranger needs in order to decide. Name the remedy and a date for it. Keep the temperature low — an even letter can be forwarded without embarrassment, so it travels further up an organisation than an angry one. Keep a copy.

Say how long you have known them, and in what capacity. Make two or three claims, each with evidence bolted to it; a claim without an example reads as politeness. Give the comparison class — among the strongest of the twelve I have supervised. If you cannot write warmly, decline.

Send it within the week; late and sent beats never. Name the thing precisely, then say what it changed: what you did with it, where it now sits, what it spared you. End on a line about them, not about you.

Ordinary printer paper is about 80 gsm; correspondence papers run 100–120 gsm, which most pens prefer. What stops ink feathering and striking through is surface sizing, so look for paper described as sized or fountain-pen friendly. Laid paper carries fine ribbing from the mould; wove is smooth. Anything meant to be kept should say acid-free.

Most fountain-pen inks are dye-based and water-soluble: kind to the pen, but they run if the envelope meets rain. Pigmented and iron-gall inks resist water and light far better, and ask for more frequent flushing. A gel pen’s pigment is often more permanent than a fountain pen’s dye. Let the page dry before folding.

Write more slowly than feels necessary; legibility is the whole point. Slip a ruled guide sheet under unlined paper to keep lines straight, and leave a margin on all four sides — margins are what make a page look composed. Left-handers do better with a quick-drying ink.

Fold to thirds for a long business envelope, in half for a card envelope, writing inward. Put the folded top edge towards the flap, so the reader opens the sheet at the salutation rather than upside down. If you enclose anything, note it at the foot — Enc. — so the recipient looks.

Set the address in block form, one element to a line, with nothing after the postcode. For international mail, put the destination country alone on the last line, in capitals. Your own address goes on the back flap, or small in the top-left corner.

In most countries the price depends on envelope format and thickness as much as weight, so check your postal operator’s published limits before buying a stamp. Sealing wax, ribbon and anything rigid jams automated sorting; those need hand-stamping and cost more. Never post cash; use a tracked service for anything that matters.